Thursday, May 31, 2012

What's going on

I'm so sorry to the few of you that do read my blog that I haven't been updating recently. Everyone knows about the trip I won, but I'm sorely lacking updates on the TTC front. **It's pretty long, so if you want to skip and just hear the news, go all the way to the last 2 paragraphs**

The last thing I updated with was that I was having my HSG. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this one, but it was one of the worst experiences of my life. If you want more details let me know and I'll fill ya in.

The results of the HSG was that one of my tubes is more narrow than the other. This didn't seem to concern the Dr so I tried not to let it bother me. I did have concerns about possible ectopic pregnancy with the narrow tube, but again, the Dr doesn't seem concerned about that.

Since the HSG came back ok, the Dr decided to start me on clomid the next cycle. He put me on 50mg and 2mg of estrogen. Apparently clomid needs to bond with estrogen to work effectively. I didn't know that. I had 4 ultrasounds that month to check for ovulation and I just wasn't responding to the clomid very well. After the 4th visit the Dr decided nothing was going to happen that cycle and told me just to call when my next cycle starts.

My cycles are still running very long so it took 4 more weeks after the last ultrasound for my new cycle to start.  By this point we're in the last week of March. This time the Dr decides he wants me to take Letrozole which I just learned is the same thing as Femara. I'm not sure what dose he put me on, but I know it was still pretty low because he was concerned about overstimulating my ovaries. This cycle I had 5 ultrasounds in a 2 week period. The Dr said this med was working better than the clomid, but I just wasn't responding well enough. After the 5th appointment he told me to call when my next cycle starts. I hate hearing that because it just makes me feel like he has given up hope for that cycle.

I asked him where we were going to go from here. He said we would try another round with a higher dose of letrozole and if that didn't work we would move onto injectable meds. The thought of having to give myself a shot everyday terrified me, but I had already decided that I would do whatever it takes to get pregnant.

The weekend after my last appointment (Friday) G and I went to a Wellness Expo that was pretty interesting. We went Saturday and Sunday, did some other sightseeing, then went home. That Sunday I was getting a lot of pain and discomfort coming from my ovaries so I assumed I O'd that day. The next day my breasts started to get tender which in my mind just confirmed that I O'd.

The next weekend I went to a cat show with my mother in Oklahoma City. For the most part that was fun. Sorta. My mom had just started taking anti-depressants which were making her super irritable, and she brought my niece as always who at 8 yrs old has already become selfish and entitled. Sad to say, but that is the way my mother has made her.

Two weeks after the cat show was Mother's Day. For the last several years this day has just been a reminder of the children I don't have. Last year was really hard on me. This year, not so bad. Not really sure why it bothered me less.

By mid-week following Mother's Day I realized that it had been over 3 weeks since I thought I O'd. My cycles aren't regular, but by the time I get tender breasts it is usually right around 14-16 days later that my new cycle starts. I really didn't think much of it because I still had all the signs saying my cycle was imminent. I was just waiting for it.

For some reason on Thursday, May 17, I decided to take a pregnancy test as I was getting ready for work. As I laid the stick on the counter I saw only 1 line on it so I really didn't think anything of it and I just continued getting ready for work. A few minutes later I glanced at it again, and as I'm sure you guessed, I saw another line. It was faint so I wasn't sure if it was for real or not. Plus I was still half asleep and didn't really think I was pregnant. I really just took the test on a whim.

At this point I decided before I say anything to G I needed to take my last digital test. I had already discarded my urine from the first test, so I had to try about 3 times before I could squeeze out enough drops to take another test. Once the display started blinking I set it on the counter and started brushing my teeth. About halfway through brushing the display stopped blinking and the results were in. I swore it said not pregnant, but then I did another take and realized there was no "not". It just said pregnant. I stood there and stared at it for a minute then realized I had toothpaste dripping down my chin and tried to finish brushing my teeth, but I ended up sobbing in the bathroom instead.

The moment I had dreamed of, but never thought would actually come, was indeed upon me. I knew G would be as excited as I was so I couldn't wait to show him. I thought about waiting and coming up with some special way to tell him, but I couldn't do it. Besides, he would know something was up because I was obviously crying.

I heard him in the bathroom shaving so I knocked on his door, and when he opened I shoved the test at him. I couldn't say anything so I was waiting for him to figure out what was going on. He told me later that he thought I was trying to show him the thermometer and he thought I was crying because I was sick. Once he actually took a look at it he realized what was going on he started crying, too. So we both stood there for a minute holding each other and crying, and then I just started laughing. I suddenly found the moment to be extremely hilarious.

In my head I never really thought this day would happen. I'm really not sure what prompted me to take the test that morning. This may be TMI, but I had already started urinating when I decided I needed to take a test, so I stopped midstream to get up, find a test, and a cup to collect a sample. So it really was a spur of the moment decision to test. I think my body was trying to tell me something and it's a good thing, too.

I called the Dr office as soon as they opened and then drove an hour there to have my blood drawn, then an hour back to work. The nurse called Friday 20 minutes before they were to close to confirm that I am indeed pregnant! She said it was very early, my HCG was only 177, but what was concerning was my low progesterone level. It was about 2.9 from what I remember. She told me I needed to start progesterone suppositories as soon as possible. She said it wasn't emergent, but it was urgent.

The problem is that that none of the local pharmacies carry this prescription. She left enough samples at the office for me to pick up to last me for 6 days.  The pharmacy she called my order in to called to confirm the order and get payment and shipping information. These suppositories cost me $380 for a month's supply. Hopefully I won't have to take them past the first trimester.

I had to go in for repeat blood work the following Wednesday and I got the results on Thursday. My HCG had only risen to 367. It had barely doubled in 6 days. Typically it should double at least every 2-3 days according to the nurse, but she didn't seem too concerned about it.  The Dr said he wanted me to repeat my blood work in a week and that he wanted to see my HCG level over 1000, and that if it wasn't he would schedule an ultrasound to see what's going on. If it is over 1000 then we would schedule a viability scan for a few weeks out.

The results from the latest round of blood work showed my HCG at 902. It's not where the Dr wanted it to be so we're going to do more on Monday. At least it rose faster than the last time. The nurse did say it's possible we just have a slow starting baby. She still sounds very optimistic about it.

I called the Marlboro Ranch today and let them know I'm pregnant. They were ok with it since it's so early.  The guy asked what my due date is and I told him I don't know how far along I am yet, but that my best guess is that I'm due at the end of January. He said as long as I get something from my Dr saying that I'm allowed to fly and be at a high altitude then I can still go to the Ranch. They have a medical team on staff 24hrs if there's any problems and he said they would just want to check with me before any planned activities. At least being pregnant gives me a good excuse if anyone asks why I'm not smoking.

I think the hardest thing for me is not knowing how far along I am. I can take a pretty good guess because there is only one date I could have conceived, but it also depends on how long implantation took and stuff like that.

So to sum everything up, I'm pregnant! Finally, after 4 years! And I'll still be going to the Marlboro Ranch as long as my Dr approves! Yay! Things are finally starting to look up.

I'll update again as soon as I find out about my blood work on Monday and when we have an ultrasound planned. I should be updating about my vacation around then too! Stay Tuned!


jeanna said...

I was HOPING and wishing and HOPING that this was the NEWS! So CONGRATS!!! CONGRATS about freaking time!! So happy for you!!!!

I have to tell you betas are good and bad...sometimes they can take away all the worry, sometimes they can give you really bad news, and sometimes like you it is a middle ground BUT my best friend has a little boy that is 2 months old whos betas did the same thing yours are doing so don't freak!

PLEASE promise to be better at updating or at least email me!!! ;)

Sara said...

Sound weird, but I'm so glad you posted this. I just got invited to the Marlboro Ranch and we are trying to get pregnant and I was so afraid one would conflict with the other! :) Your blog post just made my day.

Missy said...

Hi Sara! I thought the same thing when I first got my invite. I was so nervous when I found out I was pregnant because it was so close to the time I was supposed to leave for the Ranch. I really didn't think the Ranch would let me go if they knew. Luckily they are very good about that. If you get pregnant they will let you go as long as you are in your first or second trimester. They just don't let you do a lot of the activities when you are there.