Thursday, May 19, 2011

Trying to get on track

I'm sorry I've been gone for so long.  I think it's been about 3 months since I posted.  I've just been in a rut of sameness and self pity.

I had such a hard time on Mother's Day.  I think it was the first time I ever showed anyone how much all of this is effecting me.  I usually don't let the struggles get to me and if they do I don't show it.  On that day I ended up crying in front of my mother and I think that was the first time she actually realized how hard it is for me.  She's normally one of those that has the mentality of "just relax and it will happen".  I didn't want to take away any of the specialness of the day for her, but I just couldn't hold the tears back.  I can't even tell you how many times she hugged me that day and she's not a hugger.  G got a round of tears too.  When we got home that evening he was arguing about something and again I just started crying. Couldn't help it. I think it scares men when their wives cry. 

Other than that things have been just about the same.  I've been on the metformin for 3 months so I went to the Dr yesterday. He said things are looking much better cyst wise, but we're not quite there yet.  He added another dose of met during the day so I'm up to 1500 mg daily.  I'm pretty sure that is the most common dose so I wasn't really surprised when that's where I ended up.  He said I'll be on that dose for another few months and then I'll come in again.  His hope is that by that point I'll either be ovulating again or to a point where we can induce ovulation.

I'm so excited since I feel like we're actually getting some where.  I could actually be pregnant before the year's over with!

G has gotten some extra help at work so for the first time in almost 4 years we're actually taking a vacation together.  He let me pick where we were going so after lots of deliberation I decided on Seattle.  I was born near there, but I was a baby when we moved so I don't remember it.  I know that my parents love it there and the scenery is beautiful so I couldn't resist.  There are so many things to do it was hard narrowing it down to fit it into our schedule.  We're going to do some sightseeing around Seattle of course,

sail in a schooner to watch for whales,

and spend 2 nights in a romantic cabin at Mt. Rainier.

This is a picture of the actual cabin we'll stay in.

I 'm so excited that we're actually getting to spend some quality time together.  We definitely need it.  I feel like we're so out of touch with each other.  We see each other all day at work, but that's not personal time.  When we're at home I usually end up next door at my mother's for some reason or G falls asleep in the bedroom while I'm in the living room.  The cabin has no tv reception so it'll be just us entertaining ourselves :)~

It really doesn't feel like it's been 3 years since we actively started TTC.  I'm about to be 31 and I know I still have plenty of time, but I feel like time's starting to go by too fast and it's slipping right out of my fingers.

I almost forgot to add that I've designed my next tattoo that I'll probably get after we get back from vacation.  Let me know what you think.

1 comment:

jeanna said...

I am still here reading! For once I have two hands to type! Seattle sounds awesome and the cabin looks fabulous! I can't wait to hear all the details and see some pictures (hope you will blog about it...hint hint). Crossing my fingers that the meds get things happening!