Monday, January 24, 2011

I know, It's been a while

It's really sad that I feel like I'm at work more than I'm at home.  I guess that's what I get for living an hour away from my 8 hr job.  I spend more awake time at work or traveling to and from work than I do at home.  Once I'm at home I feel like there is so much to do that I get overwhelmed and don't do any of it.  Does that sound familiar to anyone else?

My mom and I haven't spoken in over a week.  You know since we live so close that is a miracle.  Not really, but we had an argument in public a little over a week ago and haven't spoken since.  It was a dumb argument really, but we're both stubborn and neither of us want to be the first to break the silence.  Here is the hopefully short version.  My niece had a dance recital on the 15th.  A few weeks before the recital I asked what time it was and I swear my sister said it was at 11:30.  So we left the house that morning around 11 and my sister called wanting to know where we were at because they were about to start.  I told her I thought it was at 11:30 and that we were on our way.

We got into the gym just as my nieces group was starting.  I didn't even have time to get my camera ready or find my family.  I just stood at the foot of the bleachers and watched because I didn't want to miss anything.  Once her dance was over we made our way to the other side of the bleachers where my family was and the first thing my mother said to me was "I didn't bring my camera because I assumed you were going to be here."  And that is the root of the problem right there.  That one sentence sums it all up.  Since I bought a nice fancy schmancy camera my mother expects me to be the family photographer.  Since I wasn't there she wasn't getting the pictures she wanted.  I say it's her own fault for relying solely on me and not bringing her own camera.  So I told her I would have been there on time, but I thought someone told me it started at 11:30.  Then she said "Oh whatever" so I said "Why would I not get here until 11:30 if I knew it started earlier" so she replied "Because you slept late". So then we exchanged a few more not so nice words in front of everyone standing around us and I didn't talk to her the rest of the time.  I took my pictures during the second performance and as soon as they were done I turned around and left. And we haven't spoken since.

I felt bad for leaving before saying anything to my niece, but I really don't think she really cared that I was there.  I know that doesn't sound very nice, but you really have to understand the way my mother has raised her. Yes, I said my mother raised is raising her.  My sister has lived there since just before my niece was born, and once she was my mother just kind of took over.  She never really let my sister be a mother.  I can tell you that my niece loves her grandmother more than her own mother.  I'm not kidding.  It's just a lot of drama and it upsets me thinking about it so I'll move on.

Since I have officially been diagnosed with PCOS I get to start metformin.  I'm just waiting for my next cycle to start, then on CD1 I get to have some blood work done and start my new meds.  AF should be coming any day.  My cycles are getting progressively shorter so my cycle should be starting anytime between now and Saturday by my calculations.  I hope anyway.  I'm anxious to start the met and see if it helps.  I'm not looking forward to the possible and probable side effects, but I'll put up with anything for the chance to be a mother.

Just for fun I've ordered a prediction from Cheri, the baby psychic.  My reading is supposed to be ready on the evening of Feb. 8th.  She has an accuracy rate of about 90% I believe.  I don't want any one to think that I'm going to believe everything she tells me.  I just think it's fun.  I got a reading from another supposed baby psychic last year that turned out not to be accurate at all.  Again, I just do it for fun.  It helps me pass the time.  I'll let you know on the 8th what she tells me.  Then we can all find out together if it comes true or not.  mkay?

I'm going to leave you today with a few pictures

And can you see a resemblance in this incredably adorable face and this much younger version of me?  I swear Em could pass for my child and she looks nothing like her mother.

(don't mock the clothes, this was the early '80's after all)

Until next time!


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