Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Here's the Score...

Infertility-4
Me-1

There is one point for each cycle since the start of the clomid. Out of 5 cycles I only ovulated once. Just once. Hopefully this new clinic will be able to help me, but I'm afraid I have not gotten off to a good start.

When I first scheduled my appointment it was for 4/15, but then I realized that was the day of our annual awards program at work and there was no way I was going to be allowed to miss that so I rescheduled. But then my husband happened to get jury duty on 4/19 and my appointment was for yesterday, 4/20. Normally that would be ok, but we work at the same place and he really wants to go with me to this appointment. Since he was out of work Monday the boss wouldn't let him leave early Tuesday. So I called to reschedule. Again. Apparently they don't like it when you do this. They told me that if I called to reschedule again that the nurse wouldn't do it. Is it just me or is that kinda rude?  She is certainly no Miss Sunshine. This is the first appointment I have ever rescheduled in my life and now if the Dr accepts me into the program I feel like they won't be flexible at all if something comes up. I understand that some things have to be timed pretty precisely, but a consultation? So now I am scheduled for next Thursday 4/29. I have already cleared with the boss me and DH leaving early so I should be all set. I also got my medical records from my old Dr so that will come in handy I'm sure.

I am now on CD 43 with no end in sight. I am waiting to start the provera until after the consultation to see if I am going to be accepted or not and where to go from there. FertilityFriend finally removed the crosshairs from my chart. I am only charting sporadically now, but I am trying to get back into the habit.

Bitchy coworker and I are getting along better, but there are no plans to get matching BFF tattoos or anything in our future. She is still messing with the air all the time, I have just gotten past it. I just put on a sweater and move on. I have got more important things in my life to stress about. Like infertility.

I really try not to think about it all the time, but I just can't help it. Everywhere I turn there are always reminders that I am not a mother. It really sucks. I think things would be a lot easier if I just had someone to talk to about it. Can't talk to DH because he is involved in it, and my mother just can't be objective enough. The only friend I really have lives in Missouri and when I try to talk to her the conversation just never really seems to be about anything but her life. I love her and I am glad to be there to listen when she needs it, but she is just not there for me when I need it. I try to call her when I need a friend and I get one sentence out and she turns it into something about her family. I have actually considered talking to a psychiatrist, and I think it would really help, I just can't afford it.

I think I might visit a psychic soon just for kicks and giggles. See if I get the same kind of answer the last one gave me. All the last one told me (without me saying anything to her) was that I was going to need medical assistance to get pregnant and that I would have no more than 2 kids. I would like to see if a new psychic would say the same thing and if it gets any more in depth than that. Maybe after next payday. She is across the street from my bank so that is convenient.

I hope everyone else is having a good week and if not a good week atleast not a terrible one.

Next Thursday can't get here soon enough!

2 comments:

jeanna said...

if you want you are welcome to email me if you want to obsess about all this IF stuff! I will listen! It sucks having no one to understand even if they do listen. And there is only so much we can say to our husbands before they get stressed. my email is:

jeannadholmes at hotmail dot com

also, I changed the settings on my blog you might have noticed, so if you want to still follow it I will need your email address to invite you...i hope you are not thinking i am some crazy internet person trying to get your email address...i just enjoy the comments you leave me! take care!

Bummed Uterus said...

lol @ matching BFF tattoos!