I have not really had anything worth posting lately. I have been going through a phase of wallowing in a pool of self-pity and tons of self-loathing. I know I haven't been ttc as long as a lot of people, but to me it feels like an eternity. We are actually going on our 8th month and starting our 5th round of clomid. There have been a lot of babies born and pregnancies announced in the blog world lately, and while I am happy for them that their dreams are coming true, I can't help but wish it were me.
This may be TMI for some so if you don't want to hear about a woman's bodily functions then turn away now.
I've read conflicting information on the internet about when cd1 actually occurs. Some say it is at the first sign of spotting and other say it is at the start of actual red flow. I had brown (old blood) spotting all day yesterday and this morning brought on the red flow. So what cd am I on? Since I am supposed to take the clomid cd5-9 and have my b/w done on cd 24 I guess I need to be sure of where I am at. I asked the nurse today when I called to tell her I started. She said they usually count cd1 at the first sign of spotting, but she wasn't sure and was going to ask the Dr. I am just waiting to hear from her again.
Hopefully my body will decide to behave and actually ovulate this time. I only have one other chance after this before my Dr is going to refer me to a specialist. We really don't have the money for that so I am trying to remain optimistic that it will happen this time.
In other news, my dad was laid off for the first time in his life last month. He is having a hard time finding a job right now that will pay what they need it to in order to survive. My dad was making a very good sum of money and my parents became very accustomed to being able to buy things they wanted and just make payments on them. Now between their mortgage, truck, horse trailer, and utilities they just can't make it on what they could even 5 years ago. They have also taken in 2 of my cousins so there are 2 more mouths to feed. If you are a praying person please pray that they find an answer soon whether it is in the form of a job, or even just a way for them to save money and cut down on their monthly costs.
I also wanted share a few websites with you today. The first is the Angel Food Ministries. If you haven't checked it out before you should. They have a set menu every month of what you can buy in their boxes of food and you can buy it cheaper than you would in the store. They even take food stamps. Anyone can do it, there is no criteria you have to meet to qualify.
The second website I wanted to share is a blog called Enjoying the Small Things. I was introduced to this blog this morning and I couldn't quit reading. The owner of the blog, Kelle, has 2 beautiful daughters, Lainey and Nella. Nella happens to have been born with Down Syndrome. Nella's birth story was just moving and so incredible. Kelle writes beautifully and is an amazing photographer so reading her blog is just an experience in itself.
I am done sharing for the day so make your way back out into the world and be sure to enjoy the small things!